路

我们都该 回头看看 来时路
就算起凤 偶尔有雾 模糊不了幸福

我们都该 在心里数数 感动的次数
谁陪你疯 谁陪你笑 拍拍肩一起追逐

多少爱错过了才看清楚
多少事无法弥补才认输
多少次以为找到了幸福
却发现一开始 就是个错误

每一段路 都是一段领悟
珍珠再夺目 留不住心头热呼呼
真心的鼓舞 能温暖一生的旅途

每一段路 难免荆棘密布
把坚持牢牢握住 不怕艰难险阻
学会去爱 就不会迷路

PASS!

Finally passed my driving test today!
After nearly 1 year (enrollment date of 10 March 2007) and 16 demerit points, I'm legally allowed to drive on the road :)

Sight scare before the test actually commenced, my test car used in the warm-up session hv gone missing and it turned out that another 'test-tee' took the wrong car and i've to take the remaining car which the tester voiced out that its unfair to me to use a different and 'new' car i'm not familiar with, and its up to me whether to go ahead with the test..i was like 'huh..? then muz i wait another test time?? i juz wanna quickly get over and done with lor' but juz managed a meek 'ok lor, i will take this car'

MY test finally started after a whole 15 or 20mins from the test time of 11am and that's abt the ending time of a session when all the 'L' cars returned to the driving centre and cramming the circuit doing some last practices....pengz...
And this is the 1st time i'm doing the circuit all entering from the right turn (i meant different from my usual practice turning routes) but was lucky to complete the circuit without any demerit points.

The points i got were all from the road for not checking blind spots (2pts), improper turning -wide turn (2pts), delay in moving off (4pts), insufficient acceleration (2pts), speed too slow (4 pts) and change lane abruptly (2pts).... which were all marked on at the point when i entered the gate on the way back... i thought i was so 'zai' coz didnt see the tester making any notes at all the whole journey as he was just sulky in his seat muttering turn left/right.. when i returned, a couple instructors who hv helped look for my missing car asked me how was my test and asked me to smile more to the tester when i got off my car (tester didnt wait for me to stop completely to open his door and scoff off!). He juz tally the points on the spot in the debrief room, passed to me without a word and went off before i could say a 'thank you'

Guess i was lucky overall despite the scare at the start and the 'bo phew' treatment at the end.. rushed off to get a Q number before viewing the stipulated 'graduation' video, in which an instructor (whom i dun recall seeing before) came up to me and asked if the person with mixed-up car and if i pass... haha.. think the tester is damn pissed off by the mistake..

By the time i left the driving centre (forever), was already 1230pm and i rushed off to orchard to meet my lady boz to carry the heavy meeting stuff which she helped attend due to my leave. My project team knew abt my passing of the test and wanna a treat which i of coz ignored by laughing it off. But treated my mdm to her fav long john silver and went shopping for beauty fang's present at Tangs before returning to office.. though was on leave, wanna do a 'soft opening' since today supposed to be an auspicious day for 'open work' and i really need to clear my table to get some working space for the busy load ahead since i've extended my CNY break which means more work to clear..

Had an early day off with a trip to Vivo (accompanied by nest on her way to dinner near there) to catch up on our happenings over the CNY week and to get a bday present for my sister whose day falls on V-day.

Till i touch another car again...bye bye to the various honda civics I've drove at bbdc and the 'interesting' instructors i've met over this yr.



P.S. to be continued...
wanna post something since the new 2008 but hv been real lazy... but this date muz be marked in history somehow :)
Btw.. the P-plate photo was copied from the internet.. going to get my mine soon!

Goodbye and Hello

Finally reaching the end of 2007, juz ended a hilarious conversation with dear nest, abt how the 3 'hottest babes' (me, nest and hairy hot tart-te with new hair extension!) are idling at home on new yr's eve or rather the last day of the yr :) Too bad we didnt plan anything in advance but my original plan was to nurse at home for my on-off feverish head and plant myself in front of my fondly missed TV!!! (now sideway coz facing my comp hee)

What a year.. really.. as i looked thru my blog, thou lately it turned to a lyrics storing space haz.. but these are really my fave songs that hv been played at least hundreds times! Thanks to these songs for accompanying throughout my bus journeys to work, OT times, and of coz when i felt like venting by singing out loud, somehow missed ktv times too..

A busy sometimes lonely and changes-filled 2007: -
1) The SHIFT
The shifting of my office from my happening CQ area to the east where i nvr ventured b4 ranked No.1 on my list, still feeling super weird to go to the east everyday...

2) Brother & Sister
both the serial n my real life siblings :) sorta missed them in action this yr hope we'll hv more mahjong times together!

3) Friends who have left office, sorely missing the fun times we had together...
In running order, MCEO, Old C, Team Member, Beauty Fang, Dodo...

4) Baby Piglets!
Our 1st class baby - Aken - proudly presented by chairman and hubby :) not to mention my lady boz's baby coming next yr.. bracing for the stressed period when she goes on maternity leave

5) Travelling
Went to Shanghai + Jiangnan on my bdae, time to venture out of chinese speaking zones..but come to think of it.. its going to be Beijin 2008 Olympics Games!! hmm..

6) Secret 不能说的秘密
My Fave movie of the yr.. hmm thou i haven watched much this yr :) (lemme think, die hard 4, Pirates, 881, Bee, I m Legend r abt the movies i watched in theatre) Didnt even watch those i wanted like Harry Potter and HERO..sobz..

7) Laptop and my N80ie
Got my Acer laptop and N80ie early this yr, seems like most IT-equipped yr.. but now eyeing HTC Tyn II :)

8) Driving is Fun!
Kickstart my REAL driving lesson finally and my test date is fixed on 12.02.08.
Hope to PASS !!

9) I miss my TV :(
Mediacorp's been re-running alot of past drama this yr in tuned with its Chinese Drama 25.. really really really missed those times when i wld be a fixture in front of tv at the precise 7pm and 9pm primetime slots, where computer is still a distant luxury thing. Each serial really brought back fond memories of the past. Currently watching mobtv to relive those times

10) Friends and Love
Hmm.. been spending alot of time on my own and becoming an infamous workaholic, lest it kept me busy and fulfilled that im doing something useful, sometimes it can get.... reluctant to use the word 'lonely' coz im quite at peace with what, where and who i m now.. maybe its time to get worried abt finding new friends,but nay..being the lazy me.. i hope things will fall into place themselves.. hope twin and best friend will clear up soon thou.

May the New Yr brings along new Hope in all aspects
Love all of ya who love me :)

Goodbye 2007 and Hello 2008!

to be continued...

P.S. Bought Tanya's album on Xmas Day and really really love the songs, pleasantly surprised to find that the lyrics are mostly by her too. Touched and at peace.

空白格

其实很简单 其实很自然 两个人的爱 由两人分担
其实并不难 是你太悲观 隔著一道墙不跟谁分享
不想让你为难 你不再需要给我个答案

我想你是爱我的 我猜你也舍不得
但是怎么说 总觉得 我们之间留了太多空白格
也许你不是我的 爱你却又该割舍分开
或许是选择 但它也可能是我们的缘分

崇拜

崇拜
你的姿態 你的青睞
我存在在你的存在
你以為愛 就是被愛
你揮霍了我的崇拜

我活了 我愛了 我都不管了
心愛到瘋了 恨到算了就好了
可能的 可以的 真的可惜了
幸福好不容易 怎麼你卻不敢了呢？
我還以為我們能 不同於別人
我還以為不可能的 不會不可能

你的姿態 你的青睞
我存在在你的存在
你以為愛 就是被愛你揮霍了我的崇拜

我活了 我愛了 我都不管了
心愛到瘋了 恨到算了就好了
可能的 可以的 真的可惜了
幸福好不容易 怎麼你卻不敢了呢？
我還以為我們能 不同於別人
我還以為不可能的 不會不可能

你的姿態 你的青睞
我存在在你的存在
你以為愛 就是被愛
你揮霍了我的崇拜

風箏有風 海豚有海
我存在在我的存在
所以明白 所以離開所以
不再為愛而愛
自己存在 在你之外

陌生人

一朵云能载多少思念的寄托
在忽然相遇的街头
当我们擦身而过
那短短一秒钟
都明白什么都变了
一转身谁能把感慨抛在脑后
在事过境迁以后
这感情就算曾经刻骨且铭心过
过去了又改变什么
地球它又公转几周了

我不难过了甚至真心希望你能幸福
当我了解你只活在记忆里头
我不恨你了甚至原谅你的残忍理由
当我了解不爱了连回忆都是负荷
浓情爱恋都已陌生了

我不难过了甚至真心希望你能幸福
当我了解你只活在记忆里头
我不恨你了甚至感谢这样不期而遇
当我从你眼中发现
我已是陌生人
我已是陌生人了

如果你也听说

突然发现站了好久
不知道要往哪走
还不想回家的我
再多人陪只会更寂寞

许多话题关于我
就连我也有听过
我的快乐要被认可
委屈却没有人诉说

夜把心洋葱般剥落
拿掉防卫剩下什么
为什么脆弱时候
想你更多

如果你也听说
有没有想过我
想普通交朋友
还是你依然会心疼我

好多好多的话想对你说
悬着一颗心没着落
要怎么附和
舍不得又无可奈何

如果你也听说
会不会相信我
对流言会附和
还是你知道我还是我

跌跌撞撞才明白了许多
懂我的人就你一个
想到你想起我
胸口依然温柔

如果你想起我
你会想到什么

Brothers & Sisters

"looking backwards

many of the sadest times in my life

turned out to be the happiest

so i must be happy now

yeah this is gonna be good

why else would i be crying"

Missed the 1st episode of the series but hv managed to tape down from 2nd episode onwards. it's actually the ally mcbeal actress who attracted me to watch the show which's not bad thou i still think ally mcbeal series is the best. Went to you-tubed it and discovered some of the touchiest scenes there..how i missed watching them during my younger days.. the above quoted from the very last words of Ally Mcbeal.

Dodo left the firm last friday which i somehow felt that im quite unprepared for it as i was occupied by the deadlines and stuff.. Initially thought i wun be much affected but i guess the saddness hit me when the 3 of us shared cab home for the last time after our ktv.. (oh yah speaking of that.. ah gam came to join us and she somehow knew tt beauty fang and team member were in town ktv too juz tt din find out where.. it turns out we r at different rooms away!) Totally drained and tired on sat that i only dragged myself to office to pack some stuff before heading to nest' place to watch dvd..luckily i still have her ard.. dunnoe how much more i can bear thou.

all the best :)

to be continued...

10 Years

'Not everything can go according to plan. If you're willing to sit and see what takes shape next, you might realize that what has happened through serendipitous accidents is much better than what you had arranged'

Last day of the month July 2007.. truly into the later half of the year...felt that im lagging behind on the stuff i wanna do..i still haven touch on the steering wheel for my practical lessons, haven watch the much hyped potter movie and read that last book (i wanna buy the complete set!) and many more.Perhaps i shld reallie leave things as it is and things might just happen on their own...

With the launch of the last potter book, it was reported that alot of fans finally ended their childhood with the end of the 10yr series too. as for me.. think i only started reading the series before the 5th book was released.. during my uni days. so guess i've caught on halfway when i'm already a young adult heez.. nonetheless the series brought back fond memories when me, my jie and bro wld fight to read the borrowed book at the same time. Im usually the 1st to finish the book, bro next and jie alwayz last..after hearing the plot spoilers from me...Guess this last book.. sorta ended my 'childhood' in a way too as jie and bro are nt ard with me these days. I will have the book (which is going the 1st potter i've yet to buy instead of borrow) to myself this time..peacefully.

Met up with Ms Leong and 2a-ers last week and was really glad to see that she haven changed abit.. or rather aged at all. She's exactly the same 10yrs ago.. or even more youthful with her 'new wild-haired look' haz.. was quite surprised when she can match me with my correct name. Another surprise - we are expecting our 1st class baby (YY's like 6 mths pregnant and i onli got to know it then!) from our class rep who's the 1st known person to get married too :)

Finally recovered from the bad cough that's been bugging me since mid july.... guessed that's how my body reacts when im down.. thou the weather hv been rainy lately.. can somehow feel the sun's coming out soon :) Muz buck up for the busy period ahead! (which ironically mirrors last yr's project schedule too..)

to be continued....

P.S. Happy Birthday.... dear cousin rong!

不能说的秘密

《不能说的秘密》
曲:周杰倫 词:方文山

冷咖啡离开了杯垫
我忍住的情绪在很后面
拼命想挽回的从前
在我脸上依旧清晰可见

最美的不是下雨天
是曾与你躲过雨的屋檐
回忆的画面 在荡着秋千 梦开始不甜

你說把愛漸漸 放下會走更遠
又何必去改變你走過的時間
你用你的指尖 阻止我說再見 想像你在
身邊在完全失去之前

你說把愛漸漸 放下會走更遠
或許命運的籤 只讓我們遇見
只讓我們相戀 這一季的秋天
飄落後才發現 這幸福的碎片 要我怎麼撿

Unexpeceted...

"You do what you can. Sometimes that's all the situation requires; other times you learn that something more is necessary. Which is it this time? Well, honestly -- that depends on what you want the result to be."

AN unexpected end to the Month of June... well..which i shld hv expected it since this yr had been filled with a series of unexpected events. Welcomed curly neighbour's return on Monday which i thought cld be signs that life wld return to normal soon..but Beauty fang dropped me the bomb that it was her last dae last friday which i guess her 7hrs notice to me will be the record to break in time to come.. didnt expect her departure to come b4 nest, but well..anything can happen these days. Seems like she is not too happy over the 'trim & fit' programme juz like me & dodo.... perhaps she will ditto curly neighbour's decision to return.. till then, her projects and newbie boi will hv to be handover to my LB.. thou she haven officially inform me. There's really a limit to the amt of work one can handle.... hope she's able to cope and hopefully, the troublesome swimming pool project will complete soon so that i can channel my energy for other projects.

Went Kbox @ Marina Sq ladies nite with tart and nest the nite b4 the news, had quite a fun time together thou we had to switch rooms.. was impressed by tart's rapping and adaptation of the oldies like Deng Lijun's songs.. sure hope that we'll hv such fun times together..if only nest wld stay..

Nvr expected to visit Kbox so soon again on sat..After burning my sat hrs on that dreaded swimming pool project, was quite frustrated that i didnt finish wad i target to do. Went for jap dinner @ gallery hotel which was arranged by wj... which i thought involved our usual gang of me, twin & partner, cy, dee & wj and perhaps momo, jim or lian. Twin brought along a friend this time, the BFG as wj hv coined the nick for him. Seems like a nice tall ABC guy thou im clueless to why twin asked him along to wad i thought was our usual catch-up session....guess im really burned out from work lately and meeting new pple is nt exactly on my list of fave stuff to do. Went Kbox @ cineleisure after dinner and turned out to be a nite of dice where the games overpowered the singing. An unexpected nite out i wld say..

Caught the fireworks @ esplanade a week ago when i was on my way home after shopping with Cousin Rong. Brought back fond memories of the very 1st time i saw live fireworks..at our NDP'95...really miss those good old daes.

to be continued...
thou hv been discouraged by recent events, i guess i wld still want to complete what i've started out..(which i better start working on the pile of workstuff beside my notebook :)

Mid Year 2007..

'You draw people in by just being yourself. It's not your fault that colleagues find you irresistible. When you are all charged, you are to make an impact, there's no stopping'

Time really flies...its already mid-year 2007 and i guess before i know it, the end of year will hit soon. Looking back the past 6 months.. this must be the most emo-filled year with some rather unexpected changes-filled milestone that marked my quarter life..Glad that i've at least fulfilled my resolutions to update my diary here, kickstart my driving lessons and read quite abit.

Jan - Self Healing.. Jie got married and left home for good..
Feb - Got my new HP!
March - MCEO, curly neighbour left me...Bought my new notebook!
April - My Birthday Shanghai Trip, Bro in Army, Team member left me...
May - Got my PDL, 1st uni classmate Mos got married, super stressed period during LB's marriage leave, newbie boi arrives, promo...
June - 2nd yr at work, expecting curly neighbour's return, nest.....

Guess Life is supposed to be filled with changes, changes, changes.. try as i might to avoid, some changes are simply bound to happen and not within my control.
Got this habit of thinking to and fro when im stoning - where i was a year ago and what i will be a yr from now. Maybe that's why i missed the good old days and dreadful of the unknown future.

Although neighbour E kept telling me life is more than work, gotta admit that my life resolves mainly ard work thou morale is getting low lately.. with the influx of newbies in the office, can feel the change physically and felt like an outcast of my own row with the assertion of territory by the E's signboard -- Sense of belonging is dipping. Though there's still my mdm to turn to, it's getting more stressful now that i know i cant rely so much on her who's gotta devote some time to the newbie boi too.
The recent 'conflict' with the office's No.1 didnt seem to get better after he saw me drinking beer with dodo and tart last friday nite.. simply pissed at his qn when he asked if i smoked as well when we saw him again in office that nite. Damn pissed to be accused/label of something i dislike and he seems to loves putting words into my mouth.. Gotta brace myself for his naggings for the coming week..
The only consolation that used to come from nest's companion is going to be history soon.. though hv expected it to happen, was really sad and depressed when reality hits. Will miss those impromptu outings after work, and the happening times we had in office after working hours. Really hope that our friendship will continue thou i know it simply wun be the same again.

Celebrated our 2nd working yr together with nest and dodo at Central Waruku and The Clinic after attending Bro's BMT graduation ceremony. Seriously think that there wldnt be a 3rd yr as nest and dodo seemed ready to leave anytime.

Met up for CY's belated bdae celebrations where we had ktv, jap dinner, pool, drinks at mandarin hotel and more drinks at new asia bar.. thou surrounded with beloved old buddies, cant help but to feel lonely..perhaps coz wj is not ard or maybe the things we did and went reminded me of the past.. But still glad to see them and to have their company. Especially amused to see our oldest member, CY's dancing moves..hmm..
Happy for Twin's new start, and thou she says its a good way to recover, i guess i will still leave it to time.

My Mid-year resolutions for the rest of 2007: -
1) To do less OT; to see more sun :)
2) To get my heart pumping more!!
3) To start my practical driving lessons moving.
4) To remain being myself, admist all these changes.

P.S. Found the above horoscope from Sunday Times quite amusing and somehow true for me heez..

To be continued...

Mayday Mayday

Last post of the month... Thou it's the 1st time i'm writing this from my N80ie (using home network). Been having dizzy spells since sat n this really the 1st time i've got the feeling of 'earth-swirling' kinda of faint spells, luckily din really blackout.:) anyway got home earlier than usual to rest (under the orders of many loved ones), n to sleep more!
guess i need to keep up with my resolution to get out in the sun n exercise more other than chasing buses haz..
Finally catched a movie with my lover nest, thou the pirates show wasnt as nice as expected(n both of us ended up giddy with seasickness ha), at least spent some solo moments with her.. Also been trying to stay as long as possible at my place with my beloved neighbour Eunice blessing me with ai xin breakfast n sweet sweet herbal tea:)
Glad that mdm is back at office, thou it's never the same again with a newbie boi (between us) haha.. we'r no longer 'only 1' to each other liao.. Awaiting mao mao's owner to be back, to offer me the much needed shield n comfort to lb..
With the seating arrangement still pending, hope that mao mao's return will bring along good news in June!

to be continued.:)
p.s. N hope my driving lessons will finally kick start in june!
Posted 29.05.07

WHy....so drastic....

Should hv posted one entry last week...anyway Mayday started with bursting news at work. It began on last friday b4 lunch when dodo informed us he cant join us for lunch as there's 'team lunch' for him.. tot it's the usual TL lunch for him until DLB asked tart to join too... Dodo updated us with the 'trim and fit' program, whereby we were shocked at the drastic move of one of the LB...Seems like they r really making drastic moves in this 'trim & fit' program where we r to grow 'laterally' and 'taller' for some.. As for me.. my LB called me to go over, when we were abt to leave for double o..i somehow guessed it and that's muz be the most 'dreaded' walk over to her place.. tried to distract her with other stuff b4 she told me abt the news. I shld be happy abt it, but somehow.... only welcomed the 'lateral' growth rather than the change in position... as i dun tink i deserved it.. entirely.. in any way, when i asked her if its like too soon, (guessed she felt the same too), she only said that it's the company decision/move to retain pple.. guess the only thing i can do is to really work harder and be humble as team member advised..

Din reallie know how to break the news to the rest as i know nest wld be real disappointed as im for her.. but still told them over the wire b4 we left for double 0... so thou the whole nite out was quite fun..can sense the moodiness.. anyway me and germ left early since i hv my basic theory test the next day while i guess germ wld like to spend the 1st mmts of her bdae with her other half..

05.05.07 seems to be a 'special' day bah...Woke up real early for my Basic Theory Test thou im still nursing a bad headache from the nite b4... luckily i passed it with my Best Friend and got my PDL on the date which is my mama's and germ's bdae. Went back to nap awhile thou i cant get any sleep at all as im still thinking of the drastic news.. somehow, cant really accept the fact... somehow feel that the 'accelerated' growth might nt be good for me if i cant live up to it.. anyway, went to attend the 1st church wedding -mos's wedding at his childhood church. Can say its quite an experience as i tot it'll be juz a solemn ceremony but the couple kept singing and singing at the 'service' which some songs r quite nice.. catch up with my uni classmates, some i hven seen for nearly 2 yrs since graduation day.. haiz... how time passed...
Went to Jie's place to celebrate mum's bdae with take-away pizza, and other food stuff like a mini party.. too bad brother is at field camp and not out this weekend..

The week after started off with a series of meetings and i hardly gets any chance to talk much to mdm.. Anyway i was out at the usual monday mtg when the news is formally out..so by the time im back to office, feel super weird when pple start to 'congrats' me..expected a long 'trim and fit' list and it turned out to be one with slight surprises too.. gotta accept the reality for now..

With 1 more day to go b4 mdm goes o leave.... hope tt i can survive these coming days without any major crisis.

to be continued.....

That I Would be Good

"Give me the courage to speak as I stand
And spew, my continuous unwavering thoughts
My belief, my 2 cents' worth
The courage to be the one who withstands
All my ideas of a great man
To be the best even if no one is watching
To run as fast as my legs would take me
Even if, I'm the last to cross the line
To let myself die a little
When you take that part of me away"

Shifted the mini-hi fi into my room last last weekend, and hv been blasting the under-utilised machine ever since. Still missed the previous old SONY hi-fi where I can play 3 cds and there is this karaoke function so i cld sing along with the music. Anyway, spent the weekend singing alot of 'oldies' in my room, though strictly speaking, are onli stef and Jay's past albums..Realised that I've to refer to the lyrics booklet now and then as I've lost touch on the songs I used to sing without missing a word hahaz.. guess this spells someting.. either im geting old, or really these songs r getting yesteryear liao?? haz.. I supposed each phase of ur life are accompanied by different songs at the point. Like Stef's debut album reminding me of my JC days, Jay's hito Fantasy album signifying the happening start of my uni life, Stef's 'Start' and 'to be continued' albums bringing me comfort in my 'transition period' when i was 21. And the latest album 'Against the Light'... for some healing effect. Still prefer the older songs thou as they remind me of the good old days...

Bro came back from camp last friday and his head look super small without the hair hahaz.. he got to spend 4 civilian days due to the PH, but wun be coming back for the next weekend. So we went to Vivio for advanced Mother's Day cum MaMa's bdae dinner at this 'No signboard' Rest. Crabs r quite big, prawns r yummy and we had a super full dinner....happy:)
Bro and jie talked abt the recent movies they've watched and im quite surprised that even Bro who's 'trapped' in camp hv watched the recent movies.. hmm....
Anyway, Bro seems to be adapting well in his army life thou its still too early to tell. Muz remember to apply leave soon for his POP :), which happens to be on the day of my 2nd anniversary of working at my 1st job.

Met up with the gals at Central last friday, got to know some updates on MH and Serene, and it's been quite a while since i last saw GS.. glad to know Momo hv gotten her driving license, reinforced my 'drive' to get mine too hahaz.. Talked abt our 'hang-over' nite with JJ, CY, dee and momo, and laughed over all those 'malu' moments... nevertheless, that experience din deter our after-dinner venture out to CQ-Attica where we (the gals) got free entry but elvin gotta pay his cover fee. Had 2 jugs (oh.. Muz remember to pay dee the $, think its $78 total rite?) of gin tonic and vodka ribena. Stupid waiter refused to let us sit at the sofa area coz its reserved for the VIPs=angmohs.. i guess.. coz there's isnt a soul ard on the upper flr where we were.. so we gotta stand ard a table at an empty pub.. but by the time we left the 1st flr is real packed with angmohs.. its really an angmoh pub. Went home with CY and MH, and MH says its her 1st time 'chiong-ing'!! unbelieveable..., muz get her to join us more often:)

Was at my Mdm's table when she was reading an email from boss, i peeped at it and the contents were abt if i cld continue to help out the ad hoc work which i've been complaining abt...she actually mouthed a 'damnit' phrase and commented that boss think 'we r very free'...guess that's wad i like abt, working with her is always 'we' not me alone...Mdm told me she is getting married (finally) at the end of May (that explains her long leave). Finally, coz when i 1st started working under her abt 2 yrs ago, i remembered asking her causally, when is her turn to hv the wedding dinner. She actually replied saying that she might not have one... forgotten how i react last time coz i only meant it to be a causal question. Anyway hv never seen her other half in person myself, thou hv heard from other colleagues. But i bet he muz hv heard abt me, since im alwayz disturbing my mdm after office hours at her table, that when her mobile rang (i presumed shld be him calling her), she wld replied monotonously that she's 'talking to [m name]'. Really happy for her and hope that i can keep my disturbance to the minimal during her long leave.

Injured neighbour flying off tonight with her hubby for her Hokkaido holiday, guess i wld miss her ard in my partition... muz really get used to be working alone without neighbours or LB at nite. Maybe i shld start going home early..

to be continued...
我怀念的。。。 过去单纯美好的小幸福。

P.S. Not sure if the 'poem' at the top is originally from Stef anot.. coz i remembered her posting in some forum, maybe its from some book she read. Anyway quite like the way she included the mumbling words in her song 'That I would be Good'. Quite an 'emo' song, at least for me.

Missing

Have been missing alot of ... things, people, etc... lately...

Anyway the birthday holiday was quite okie... at least it's a totally different experience from the past few yrs... Other than the rather unhappy encounter with the local guide during the last 2 days, really glad that I'm able to spend time with my jie and cjq again (Esp the last nite at the hotel room when we kept shouting at each other to be heard hahaz.. really missed them ard at home now that sis is married and bro in army..)

Learn abt my team member 'departure' news when i finally hv the chance to solo lunch with her on last Thursday... really shocked abt it when I heard it.. but i guessed im getting numb with these news lately.. anyway that's a bad thursday since there's the Doc's hse meeting to go to.. luckily they hv drained off the swimming pool water after the ponding test if not i'll be asked (by my best friend) to swim in it. Back to office at ard 6pm to do the ad hoc work which i hv no qualms of it at 1st.. but the person din bothered to give me much briefing and (maybe im sensitive or something.. think she dun reallie like me.. well its mutual i guess) even sarcastically said that 'yah we all know u'll be on leave tmr... juz do wad u can bah'... wad's that supposed to mean.. im wrong to be on leave or wad...N the maddening thing was she left earlier than me and without checking on if im having queries or problems with her stuff. Im like wasting my time in office doing things that r not appreciated while i can be at home spending some last civilian time with my brother....

Friday the 13th - me, mama & papa sending cjq to isle tekong. 1st time there and we had a short tour while bro joined the other boys for enlistment.. totally cant imagine my baby brother who is so thin and kiddish looking going to be a solider.. feel kinda of worried if he can really adapt to the training and the army life.. but i guess that's wad every boy must undergo to be a man as the slogan goes. Had army food with him before leaving the isle in the rain.
Went to do my hair at Marcus' before meeting the uni gals for dinner and gift shopping for mos' wedding gift.. also bought this 3-d jigsaw puzzle thingy for team member farewell gift.. haiz.. mos managed to join us after that so we got the chance to 'grill' him on his proposal, honeymoon plans, etc... happy for this 'brother' ... N this will be the 1st church wedding i will be attending :)

Went back to office on Saturday to work for 6hr with nest and had supper with her at chang cheng zhou.... always glad to hv her with me if i come back to work on sat.. if not will be real lonely and sianz.... Sunday was spent with best friend wj, which we passed our basic evaluation and finally got our basic theory test date 05 may 07 (mos' wedding day, my mama's bdae and germ's bdae too), we tried to block book our practical driving lessons too but after wasting almost 1 hr at the comp terminals, we realised we cant possibly get the same slots coz we r in the same grp so the instructors wun be available for both of us at the same time.. went to west mall to laze the rest of sunday away with best friend.. been some time we last spent solo times together at the place where we frequent during our JC days..felt so old juz to think of it haz..

Monday - supposed to hv dinner with mdm and curly neighbour but last mintue postphoned due to curly neighbour's flight changes. Anyway, as nest hv said, its probably good for me to be out of the 'awkward' situation.. it's a sure thing that im glad to be working under mdm.. but somehow feel that im nt considered that 'close' to her like curly neighbour.. there's this unseen barrier mainly coz she's still mysuperior and i do respect her alot.. :)
Team member told me her last day was brought forward to wed instead.. so this muz be shortest time ever a closed one had ever gave me to prepare for her last day (at least MCEO and curly neighbour gave me a full month to be prepared...tm reallie matched LLB's record haz) glad to hv the chance to send her home on Monday and Tuesday... haiz.. really sad that I no longer hv a team member to share team news... im like once again drifting further away from my own team..sobz..

Tuesday - Last lunch with team member together with dodo, nest, and oso injured neighbour who onli got to know she will be taking over tm's project... glad to still hv injured neighbour in my row/team.. Nest seems to be in bad mood tt day.. if not we wld hv went for the free cable car ride with tm..

Gotta go for the site handover for my cursed project on Wednesday and met the new Project Manager..whom looked like an ordinary auntie with no links to our line...Anyway this project is really cursed as i hv already lost impt pple during milestones - 1. Gam when i 1st got news i'll be handling a new project. 2. him when my mdm attended the 1st and only mtg with me for this project. 3. MCEO & Curly neighbour - when the project finally going to be awarded. 4. - Team member whose last day falls on the day the project finally commenced.... sure hope that i wun meet with further casualties in the next 20mths to go.... with the uncertainty if im still ard to see this project thru.
Luckily i was back to office in time to see team member off.. n beauty fang was in a frenzy to get her stuff done b4 leaving for her jap holiday.. looks like i will hv no reason to linger at that row any more....

Totally no mood on Thursday and went home via bus (considered rare... haz) and finally finished my '5 pple u meet in heaven' on the bus.. quite touched by it.. will continue with the teaser 'squel' the 5 jerks u meet on earth'.. saw the email on the ad hoc work again..and my nite was spoilt.. So Friday started off in a bad mood.. which injured neighbour wasnt too happy too, so we sorta exchanged our complaints on work stuff. Worked OT on the ad hoc work which made me blood boil again as the dwgs this time is more complicated and im still to work on it with no idea if im doing is wad the person wants.. N once again the person left without proper instructions and earlier than me... the only consolation came from nest and injured neighbour.
One good thing that happened on that Friday nite was when the IT rep saw me working so late , he suddenly decided to change my antique looking computer with a brand new LCD comp.. (Which is like already so common elsewhere but not my office!) Wanted to clean and re-configure my working space layout on Saturday but was chased out by best friend as he came back in the middle of nite juz to take his week's supply of newspapers... duh.. went supper with nest at CQ satay club and spent the nite eating heaty food and sometimes serious sometimes mindless senseless talk with nest..

Sunday - dun feel too good and didnt join the uni gals for the making of mos' wedding gift.. anyway spent the day clearing my table in order to use the computer.. its piled up since i left for the holidays and haven been touched till today... threw away alot of stuff including some aged receipts and stuff in my drawers...
i guess... even if i thought i felt alot better liao... there's alwayz the little small stuff that wld draw those memories out again..as the radio blasted the song '我怀念的‘..

sure hope i will be numb to that song soon.... after listening to it for so many times..

to be continued....

Happy Birthday

Here's wishing beloved twin & myself a Happy Birthday ")

Though my actual day hv nt arrived, i hv already had at least 2 celebration sessions, think i can really celebrate for 2 whole weeks:)

Colleagues from my row, 'expert', xy and new neighbour treated me pepper lunch @ central on Tuesday (Exactly 1 week earlier :) and we had some 'row-bonding'. Ex-neighbour came back on Thurs for her FA, her presence already a good present for me.. really missed her in my background, the sight of her whenever i turned in that direction. I guess LB too shld be missing her and LLB.. think she shld be quite stressed out these days, trying my best to give support in whatever ways i cld, since i wun be ard for her next week.

Birthday Surprise No. 1 came on Friday afternoon when Rozie called me to go out to reception.. Hv expected it to be normal flowers kinda of stuff from nest and dodo they all.. until i saw the BIG floating Eeyore Balloon delivered by an amused uncle..i froze momentarily..coz that's wad i hv alwayz wanted...(from him. which he did give me once) Really didnt expect to receive this but really appreciate the surprise from gam, nest, dodo, mceo, tart, small gal and my latest lover germ who gave me royce chocolates too. So for the rest of the afternoon, the BIG balloon floated ard my workstation, attracting people who passed by my partition to give bemused comments and looks. The show goes on when we finally left office at 7pm for dinner at PS. Nest kept rushing me while im still undecided as to whether to leave my balloon in office instead. So when i said that we probably need a table for 4 to house this balloon, nest blurted out that shld be table for 5 mah....instantly received shooting glares from dodo.. that's when i realised that might be an additional person joining, immediately thought that it will be GAM:)

The Big Balloon!

Birthday Surprise No. 2 was finally revealed when we approached Swensons at PS..kept looking ard since im already expected some1 waiting, until i caught glance of dear mceo.. da hei and their 2 adorable kids!!! I was REALLY REALLY surprised..that i nearly wanna cry haz... never expected to see her again sooo soon.. after 1 March departure..it seems like alot of things happened within this period of time, reallie missed her ard during lunch and email corr. hope we'll still manage to see her so often.. Shld hv suspected something else going on when nest kept saying she's in drinking mode that nite, coz i reallie dun mind ending the nite early to go home in da hei. So we detour back to CQ during which nest was kept busy with alot of sms and calls that i complained loudly that she shld hv paid more attention to bday gal me instead of her new found romance. It was after we finally settled down at The Clinic, that nest showed me her phone with gam's sms.. apparently there's supposed to be Surprise No. 3 with gam joining us for drinks after her badminton, but it seems like there's a series of unfortunate events happening at her side.. i dint feel disappointed at all, but was instead very touched by what nest, dodo, gam and mceo's efforts to make me happy on my day. i remembered me telling nest that i dun mind no presents at all, my only request is to be with everyone again. (since i doubt very much they will still be here this time next yr with some many departures ard..) really appreciate nest's efforts admist her 'turbulent romantic week'... Had a jug of Long isle tea and then bailey irish cream and graveyard for second round, with dodo on the house. My 2nd drink was canceled as they thought im ready to knock out any mmt..truth is i was only trying to hold back the breakdown.. Anyway I thought i was already quite drunk this time but the ultimate session's juz the next nite haz.


MCEO & Kids; Nest & Me at The Clinic

Wld hv sleep in till noon if not for the theory driving lessons booked weeks ago.. endured the long hours of theory lessons with wj and persuaded her to come to office with me as i tried to do some work before meeting 2A pple for twin's bday dinner at UE square, En bar. Adjourned to double O after that.. thou i wasnt really keen to go chiong after the nite b4 if not for twin's bday.. fangyi and minghui left after dinner and twin's friend elvin joined us at the pub. We cldnt get a table depsite the prospect of opening bottle..so wj found a table of 4 young guys and requested to share table with us.. N in the bid to be friendly, we appointed dee to ask their age.. turn out as expected tha they r army guys at 22 yrs old..they guessed correctly our ages except for momo to be at 18yrs old haz.. since im not into dancing, i kept at the table and its nt b4 long that one of the guys started talking to me.. it was ok at 1st as the others were ard.. but after a few jugs of liquor and dozens of shots courtesy from elvin, cy got too drunk and dee hv to take care of her, jimmy,wj, lian, momo went dancing while jj and elvin went to get more drinks..left me alone at table with the 4 guys... so thou i was quite helpless alone and being 'attacked' by requests to dance with them and birthday kisses (we sang bday song for twin n me earlier on), good thing is they r still considered to be 'quite decent' guys (from their rather geeky dance style), luckily twin n elvin came back to the table in time to rescue me from the 'harassment'.. i was almost 'gone' by that time, cldnt walk properly and feel like knocking out any moment. Found the rest of them at a quieter place, trying to be sobering up haz.. its really the most high nite with my highest alcohol consumption ever that i dun even noe how much i drank haz.. at least din puke out the expensive jap dinner b4 the chiong-ing.

Spent the whole of Sunday resting and trying to pack for my Shanghai trip.. gonna spend my actual bday flying in the sky:)

to be continued....

p.s. really a BIG thank u to all whom hv made me felt remembered and loved.
love ya all

我怀念的

作词:姚若龙 作曲:李偲菘

我问为什么 那女孩传简讯给我
而你为什么 不解释低着头沉默
我该相信你很爱我 不愿意敷衍我
还是明白 你已不想挽回什么

想问为什么 我不再是你的快乐
可是为什么 却苦笑说我都懂了
自尊常常将人拖着把爱都走曲折
假装了解是怕真相太赤裸裸 狼狈比失去难受

我怀念的是无话不说
我怀念的是一起作梦
我怀念的是争吵以后还是想要爱你的冲动
我记得那年生日 也记得那一首歌
记得那片星空 最紧的右手 最暖的胸口
谁记得 谁忘了

想问为什么 我不再是你的快乐
可是为什么 却苦笑说我都懂了
自尊常常将人拖着把爱都走曲折
假装了解是怕真相太赤裸裸 狼狈比失去难受

我怀念的是无话不说
我怀念的是一起作梦
我怀念的是争吵以后还是想要爱你的冲动
我记得那年生日 也记得那一首歌
记得那片星空 最紧的右手 最暖的胸口
谁忘了

我怀念的是无言感动
我怀念的是绝对炽热
我怀念的是你很激动 求我原谅 抱得我都痛
我记得你在背后 也记得我颤抖着
记得感觉汹涌 最美的烟火 最长的相拥

谁爱得太自由 谁过头太远了
谁要走我的心 谁忘了那就是承诺
谁自顾自地走 谁忘了看着我
谁让爱变沉重 谁忘了要给你温柔

我怀念的 我还有想要爱你的冲动
我记得那年生日 也记得那一首歌
记得那片星空 最紧的右手 最暖的胸口
我放手 我让座
假洒脱 谁懂我 多么不舍得
太爱了所以我 没有哭 没有说

to be continued....

逆光

也许我一直害怕有答案
也许爱静静在风里打转
离开释怀很短暂又重来
有时候自问自答
我不要困难把我们击散
我责备自己那么不勇敢
遗憾没有到达
拥抱过还是害怕
用力推开你我依然留下

有一束光 那瞬间
是什么痛得刺眼
你的视线是谅解
为什么舍不得熄灭
我逆着光 却看见
那是泪光 那力量
我不想再去抵挡
面对希望 逆着光
感觉爱存在的地方
一直就在我身旁

我以为我能后退
反复证明这份爱有多不对
背对着你如此漆黑 忍住疲惫
睁开眼打开窗 才发现你就是光芒

当我决定爱上一个人的时候，永不放弃。。。我逆着光， 即使痛得刺眼，却看见希望

未完成。。。

Against The Light

This was supposed to be my 1st post using my brand new laptop:) Acer Aspire 5584 bought from the crazy and super crowded IT show last saturday, 10 March 2007, which is oso the same day which i finally enrol for driving lessons with best friend, WJ.

Had a fun day with her n CY unexpectedly coz it wasnt a planned meet-up., glad to have CY with me at the chaotic IT show...haz. Feel super broke now after buying my hp, laptop and the driving lessons ahead...nonetheless felt it's all worth spending for the stuff i have alwayz wanted.. next coming up wld be the family holiday on my bday week.. hope everything will goes well despite the workstuff now.

Guess i wld have to really start watching my finances after all these hapenings haz.. after the so-called 'insurance review' i had recently. Looks like im not having a healthy savings habit :(
Exchanged a few updates with Agent on our classmates, had not seen them for a loong time after missing a couple of recent gatherings. For me , i guess i will still stay in my line for the time being considering the hype lately.

The much-anticipated stef sun's new album (at least for me..)'Against the light' is finally out!! bought the pre-sale promotion package and had mum to help me collect on the 22nd March 2007. Now repeating the 12 tracks on my player every moment :) Loving the songs more, the more i listen.. definitely better than the previous 'A perfect day' and gaining equal status in my ranking as the album 'Stefanie'. Especially the 2 lyrics i hv posted here.. initially thought track 05 wld be another 'stef-trademark' love song since it's the 2nd 主打歌，but after looking seriously at the lyrics and the MV.. left me tearing as i sang along.. guess some of her songs in this album really strike chords in my heart. Yeah, got more songs to sing in KTV hahaz..Anyway, felt especially 'loved' on this day when i arrived at work with a choco milk on my table (from LB), doreamon magnet from team member, a blue rose from ex-curly neighbour, bday cake from nest, chinteng from injured neighbour,approved leave, etc... was feeling quite down with a spinning head but was really cheered up by these gestures albeit small but really warmed me..

Met up with Twin who juz returned from her overseas stint to several countries ha.. n lian, CY and dee n twin's friend, at CQ on an otherwise lonely friday nite.. but was physically drained out by the end of the 1st drink and had to go home abit earlier than expected..

Went for our 1st basic theory driving lessons with WJ, its like years since we last sat together for lessons.. haz. quite boring when the instructor drags on with non-technical stuff like how drinking and driving dun mix.. blar.. blar.. yah it sure looks scary with all those accidents video clips.. having 2nd thots abt really driving hahaz..Went back to office and glad to hv nest's company.. somehow feel that we've sorta drifted abit after mceo left.. as she got more n more involved with other pple. . cant claimed much rights on her anyway haz.. so can only cherish those moments while she's still here.

With 6 more working days to go b4 my birthday holiday, i actually woke up from a 'nitemare' of not finishing my work tasks... guess im really too into it as ex-neighbour says..

Muz look forward to my Shanghai holiday :)

to be continued..

A moment to Remember

The doggy year dogged with a series of unexpected events had finally left.. Twin heard from somewhere that the piggy year is supposed to be good for us haz.. hmm.. so far soooo... ok.. i hoped

Worklife after the CNY break seems to be rippling with changes... the only guy at my row left on Gam's 1st yr anniversary, MCEO left on 1st March- the day we got a new neighbour and other influx of newbies, and not to mention dear curly neighbour who'll be leaving on the day that used to be significant to me..More pple r leaving including LLB whom i had very little contact.. kinda weird thou, cant really explain workings of my so-called sub-team.. and the yang-qi team. Even the architect considered to be the most friendly one i had met so far, is leaving.. guess its really a volatile period of leave..

Had a fun and high day on MCEO's last day.. planned to present her with a mini- powerpoint similar to wad i did for Gam but cldnt finish it due to a super tired head. So, had this brilliant idea to wear the skirt the MC gave to me last birthday.. ha.. for the record, this is the 1st time im wearing a skirt to work (during office hours that is).. plus i gotta go for the most dreaded site mtg that day.. nonetheless, it had achieved the EFFECt.. with even BB seeing it.. super paiseh and not in the mood for work ha.. guess i feel more comfortable in pants.. Went west mall swensons for dinner with MCEO & family.. Kids are super CUTE, esp the daughter.cant stop hugging her.. haz. and MCEO's house is really neat and clean. ENVY man!! muz really keep in touch with MCEO and the kids!

Read from somewhere that one shldnt introduce too many changes in your life at one go.. but i guess u cant really control the change around yourself... been trying hard to cherish what seems to be the remaining moments left with pple dear to me.. thou my engery levels/morale's slipping...

To be continued...